Reflections on Stewardship: A KNOCK AT THE DOOR

"Accustom yourself continually to make many acts of love, for they enkindle and melt the soul."

                                                                        -St. Teresa of Avila

Eight years ago, I was sitting in my office on a spring afternoon when there was a knock at the door. “Come in.”

“Do you have time to talk for a bit?” a co-worker asked. He wasn’t one of the regular people who came to visit with me on a slow afternoon, so I was curious about his visit. He sat down, waited a moment, and confessed. “I want to tell you about something I’m experiencing. Whenever I speak during a meeting, I can tell that you’re really impatient with me. You look as though nothing I could say is going to be worth listening to.”

Wow! I was stunned that he was in my office, sharing these painful experiences with me. His admittance surprised me on multiple levels. This colleague was senior to me, so I didn’t think he was paying attention to my face during meetings, nor did I view him as the sort of person who could be hurt by a junior colleague. I was not surprised, however, at what he was describing: I clearly recognized myself and my attitude in his description. I had been impatient with him. I disagreed with him in many ways, on many different occasions. I could feel the blood going to my face. I was ashamed at my behavior, and rightly so. Because my colleague had spoken calmly, I responded in kind. “Ugh. I’m sorry. I know exactly what you’re talking about. I’m so embarrassed. I won’t do it again. Thank you for telling me, that couldn't have been easy.”

We continued to talk for a while, about our shared work, about what we each really care about, about the ways we wish our meetings could go. What began as an incredibly awkward conversation quickly turned into one of my most significant relationships at work. To be clear, it isn’t that my colleague changed; he hadn't, and I still recognized our differences. Our conversation that day made me aware of my actions, and because of this awareness, I no longer react in the same way. He freed me from my old patterns of behavior.

Beyond the platitudes of being a warm and friendly community, I learned what Christian love in community really looks like. As a fellow Christian, he held me accountable, and in doing so, prepared the ground for a true friendship. This new alliance became one where I could ask him for his advice or share a sorrow, and it became the same for him. He became one of the people I trusted most deeply at work because he had shown me what his heart truly looked like.

Rowan Williams, former Archbishop of Canterbury, once declared that “God’s judgment is always creative.” My new friend made that statement a reality for me: he approached me so straightforwardly but also with kindness and respect, clearing the way for God to work creatively within me. The person I have become since the awkward conversation that day is a result of my friend’s courage, generosity, and grace.

Christianity is not a solo practice. My friend showed me how we need not only support but the friction of community, that, handled with grace, enables us to become the people God imagines we might be.

I am so grateful for that random spring afternoon when I answered his knock.

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Are you ready to answer the knock at your door? God’s grace and love are at the heart of Stewardship Season, and it is not solely on Sundays that we build community. As we continue to grow in faith together, we are each the hands and feet of God. We hope you will take a moment to discern and make a gift that is meaningful to you.

Questions about stewardship, how to pledge or making a planned gift? Contact Rose Gonzalez at roseg@cosepiscopal.org.